Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Quick takes

I thought I’d never live to see the day…

How often have we heard that in the last few weeks?

I can recall the first time I said that out loud. It was the eve of Gulf I, and I was covering a council meeting, in which no one was interested in the town’s business. We heard the news from a clerk it had begun. Back then, I never thought I’d live to see the day we would go to war without a direct attack. That was what the other guys did. You know, the BAD guys.

So I’ve taken to noting a few other things I thought I’d never live to see, in no particular order. (That’s just the way my warped mind works. Once it finally get rolling it just keeps going.)

I thought I’d never live to see the day ...

Odd black hairs would appear on my chin.
We would engage in another offensive war courtesy of Bush 2.
My mothers face looking back at me from the bathroom mirror.
A modest car would cost more than my first house.
We would decisively elect a black president.
I would need easy open pill containers.
My children would finally leave home.
Renewable energy being taken seriously.
Organics go mainstream.
We would elect a black president with al qaeda sounding name.
Gas prices at $4 a gallon.
Gas prices dropping like a stone to half that.
Americans bringing their own bags to the supermarket.
My son tucking a $20-bill into my pocket, while solemnly instructing me to ask the conductor, “Does this train go to Grand Central?”
I would have another “Kennedy” moment.
Americans working as “health care slaves”.
My tush falls out of the back of my shorts.

Last one for now:
I never thought I’d live to see the day...
One of my people making the national political stage and almost capturing the prize. By my people, I mean Hillary. Not because she’s a woman. It’s her “big guffaw” of a laugh. She’s one of us. Mine is sort of like a hysterical machine gun, a derivation of my mom’s embarrassing big belly laugh. A friend once threatened to have it surgically removed. We have really come a long way baby.

How ‘bout you?

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